is Motherhood Overrated?

Grab a glass of something strong and let’s have a quick chat. We need to talk about the thing nobody says out loud because they’re afraid the cross on the dining room wall, will fall off or turn upside down.

Twenty-five years as a stylist, and the stories are always the same. Everyone is exhausted. We’re out here acting like motherhood is this shiny trophy we’re supposed to sprint toward before the clock strikes twelve, but let’s be real: it’s a scam. Once the foils are on and the dryer starts humming, the mask slips. They look at me in the mirror and whisper, "I love them to death, but if I could go back? I would have never gotten married. I would’ve stayed in my apartment in the city. I’d have better skin, more sleep, and my sanity."

We aren't allowed to say that. If we do, we’re monsters. But you can't build a life on a "should" and expect it to feel like a home.

THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK isn’t always a longing. Sometimes it’s just the sound of a ticking time bomb of societal expectation. We buy into the mommy glow and the tiny sneakers, but let’s be Brooklyn-honest-half of these men are only fathers because they didn't want to use a condom. Yes, I said it. It wasn't a spiritual calling to pass on their DNA. It was just a Tuesday where they felt like being lazy. That is the legacy women are cutting their bodies in half for.

EVERYONE IS PERFORMING. Women are out here performing happiness rituals. Storing baby progress photos in their iPhones like digital armor. Pretending mommy dates are fulfilling while omitting the deep fatigue they feel even with a partner. It’s like a group project in college-you already know who’s going to have an excuse at the end of the semester.

We’re performing happiness for people who aren't even helping us change the diapers. We’re checking boxes on a list we didn't even write just because our mothers are asking about grandbabies. These are the same mothers who condemned us for dating in the first place, and our sorority sisters are posting staged photos in matching pajamas. And don’t give me that "who will visit you in the nursing home" line. I’ve been to those wards. You know why the visitor rooms are so clean? Because they’re empty. Your kids aren't an insurance policy for your old age. They’re human beings with their own messy lives, and they're selfish as hell!

YOUR PERMISSION SLIP. If you don’t feel a soul-deep, I-can’t-breathe-without-this yearning for a child, don’t have one. Use the contraceptives. Protect your peace. Go to that concert. Stay out late. You aren't missing out on anything except a lifetime of what-ifs and a bank account that’s constantly at zero. Living for yourself isn't a failure-it’s a revolution. Go love on yourself. The world has enough compliant women drowning in regret. It needs more free women.

BLOG | JUNE 2025  

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